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EVERYTHING IS HAUNTED UNTIL PROVEN OTHERWISE
I’ve been known to have an active imagination, veering toward the “something supernatural and spooky is out to get me” direction. When I was five, I swear I saw a green alien wearing a purple vest creeping around my bedroom window in the wee hours of the morning. Turns out there was a “peeping tom”…
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Ten steps!
It’s a pain in the arse deal with medical bills—well, any bill—that wasn’t properly bill-ified. As I type this, I’m on hold with a local radiology clinic’s business office. During a recent medical appointment, the doctor recommended an X-ray, which was available just down the hall from my exam room. Easy enough. I walked ten…
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I WANT TO WANT TO do things
When my eyeballs first see the light of day, there’s nothing more I want to want than to throw on some athletic wear (something functional and cute, not that they’re mutually exclusive, but I want to get that in there in case I ever start wanting to want this) and go for a brisk walk.…
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1979: a bologna sandwich and resentment (on the run)
I wasn’t a rebellious kid, but I did attempt a typical “I’m running away from home” operation in 1979 when I was nine. I don’t recall why I threatened Mom with my indignant departure, but it probably centered around her refusal to let me walk alone to 7-11 to play Space Invaders and buy Jolly…
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WE NEED THESE PRODUCTS INSPIRED BY OUR GEN X CHILDHOODS
This morning, I saw an ad for soaps inspired by Star Wars characters. They weren’t shaped like Yoda or Chewbacca, but the product names and ingredients were a nod to the cult characters. At first, I was like, “What in the name of Boba Fett is going on here?” After I had my coffee and…
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Cats, Cheese Bowls, and other workspace requirements
I strive for productivity in my work. There’s no better feeling than retiring to the sofa to watch one or six episodes of Gilmore Girls with a bowl of cheese knowing I’ve met deadlines. My challenge is first getting my rump in a chair and getting into the “writing zone,” while also keeping an eye…
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Pantyhose, John Hughes, and “Star Wars” makeup
I came of age in the ’80s, a decade largely (at least in my schools) ruled by Queen Gloria Vanderbilt, Lady Bonne Bell, Lord Simon LeBon, and Prince. Emerging from a young childhood in the free-wheelin’ ’70s, where “cool” was a banana-seated bike and all-you-can-drink hose water, I found myself unable to keep up with…
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What’s in a Name?
I live in a condo building, so I run into some of the same people all the time. Multi-unit living differs from single-family home living for many reasons, and I’ve experienced both.
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Anxiety, wins, and brandy (you’re a fine girl)
I’ve been an anxious person my whole life. And sometimes when I’m not worrying about something, my extra helpful mind says, “Think you’re feeling relaxed? Let’s think about that time in high school when you had to choose between a friend and a boy, and your overactive teenage hormones chose the BOY, and you completely…
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LOVE, CLOWN CARS, AND “YOUR MOM” JOKES
One of the critical building blocks of my marriage to Chris is silliness and ridiculous amounts of laughter. (I know—hard to believe, right?) We get each other, which I think is a spectacular quality to have in any relationship. We’ll ride a joke or pun til it’s completely out of gas … and then we’ll…