Everyone has gifts. Some are useful and others are just plain amusing. Although the useful ones may help us live our lives more efficiently or creatively, the latter is more interesting. And how about a combination of the two? My husband, Chris, has that one covered. He’s intuitive and gets what he calls “parking vibes”. We’ll circle a large parking lot and he’ll say, “Wait—I have a vibe.” We’ve been together long enough for me to know to stop talking and watch the magic happen. It happens. He should hang out in mall parking lots and offer his services. After approaching enough drivers, he’d either collect hefty tips from happy customers or have run-ins with the mall police. I suppose he’d be more successful if he didn’t wear a sandwich board emblazoned with “Let me give you my vibes.”
I don’t have any parking lot-related talents, but I’m no slouch in the amusing gifts department. Read on.
I walk through the Target toddler section and expertly choose the perfect outfit for each of my cats. I don’t physically dress them, mind you; I mentally clothe their furry little bodies and imagine them going places that suit their fabulous looks. My tortie, Janet, is a rough-and-tumble kind of gal, so she gets little corduroy overalls (brown) with knee patches (green) and white sneakers with Velcro fasteners. Oh, and a turtleneck adorned with tiny green sailboats. This outfit befits her hobbies of drawing with sidewalk chalk and making mud pies.
Phoebe, on the other hand, is a dainty calico-tabby who would be darling in a dusty pink Sunday school dress with laced anklet socks and patent leather Mary Janes. Wouldn’t she look delightful at a fancy tea party? Surrounded by posh teddy bears and imported dolls? I think so, too.
I could spend all day wandering and internally filling their pretend wardrobes. Yes, they’d have wardrobes instead of closets because, in my mind, they live like fancy British children and have a governess named Cornelia.
Chris and I are both available for hire.
Come on.
Not all at once.
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