{"id":1758,"date":"2018-12-04T17:40:29","date_gmt":"2018-12-04T23:40:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/angie-bailey.com\/?p=1758"},"modified":"2024-01-21T14:53:48","modified_gmt":"2024-01-21T20:53:48","slug":"bifocals-birthing-and-bones","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/angie-bailey.com\/blog\/essay\/bifocals-birthing-and-bones\/","title":{"rendered":"Bifocals, Birthing, and Bones"},"content":{"rendered":"
I’ll be 49 years old in March. I’m not telling you this because I want you to start shopping for birthday gifts, but because I’m going to be 50 in no time flat, but I feel<\/em>\u00a0younger than that — sometimes, anyway.<\/p>\n I refuse to wear bifocals because I get motion sickness quite easily, and have heard horror stories about people feeling dizzy, tripping and puking, and tripping on their own puke. I worry I’ll be one of those people. Instead, I carry around two pairs of glasses and my eyes juggle them all day long. It’s the worst when I’m in a restaurant and trying to read a menu. Reading glasses on. Then, I have to look for the restroom. Regular glasses on. When I saw my eye doctor a few years ago, she said my quick-change method is fine for now and when it starts to become too much of a hassle, I’ll be back for bifocals. And then I’ll puke all over her.<\/p>\n My fianc\u00e9 Chris and I recently moved into a new apartment. It’s in downtown Minneapolis and we absolutely love it. So many things we like to do are downtown — the restaurants, the concert venues, the theaters. And our building is connected to the skyway so when it’s -8734924 degrees outside, we won’t have to freeze our eyeballs off. Did you know that your eyeballs really<\/em> hurt when they get super cold? There aren’t any cute little earmuff-style covers for your eyes! They’re completely nekkid out there in the elements!<\/p>\n But back to my apartment building. I’d guess about 70% of the residents are in their upper 20s to 30s. Seriously — I could have birthed about half of them. There’s a painful thought. When I see all these young professionals breeze in and out of the building in their fashionable couture, I suddenly feel completely dowdy. I thought I had a current sense of fashion, but now I 100-percent question that. I mean, I like my style and don’t feel the need or desire to change it; however, I’m aware it’s not always what the chic folks are wearing in the downtown skyway.<\/p>\n