This morning, I saw an ad for soaps inspired by Star Wars characters. They weren’t shaped like Yoda or Chewbacca, but the product names and ingredients were a nod to the cult characters. At first, I was like, “What in the name of Boba Fett is going on here?” After I had my coffee and looked at the site, I discovered the products were clever and probably a good stocking stuffer for the right person, which is not me. I don’t even know who Boba Fett is—I had to look him(?) up. But the whole idea got me thinking about the kind of body products I’d create using inspiration from some of my favorite childhood TV and movie characters. Here goes:
Mr. Roarke’s Botanical Bubble Bath
Ingredients:
- Locally made Pina Colada mix
- Notes of plane exhaust
- Handcrafted mystery
The Sophia Petrillo Exfoliating Face Scrub
Ingredients:
- Age-defying cannoli filling
- Comforting “bottom-of-the-purse” Juicy Fruit essence
- Genuine ashes from the Shady Pines fire
Alice Hyatt’s “Early to Bed” Foot Soak
Ingredients:
A gentle balance of diner coffee and Linda Lavin-der
Baby Houseman’s Hydrating Shower Soap
Ingredients:
- Watermelon juice
- Johnny Castle’s dewy perspiration
- Raw privilege foam
Captain Stubing’s Sexy Sailor Salve
Ingredients:
- Wisdom of the sea
- Artisanal spray starch
- Hints of romantic hijinks
Duckie Dale Unrequited Hair Pomade
Ingredients:
- Small-batch juice from recycled boxes
- Tones of bike grease
- Intense, rain-soaked devastation
Shaggy‘s Spooky Body Scrub
Ingredients:
- Villainous bodily moisture from the inside of rubber masks
- Wildcrafted liverwurst sandwiches
- Ganja
John Bender’s “After Dark” Aftershave
- Moisturizing tobacco oil
- Tones of uncracked textbooks
- Ironically crafted in small batches inside Barry Manilow’s closet
Just in time for the holidays!
Leave a Reply