I experience semi-regular bouts of insomnia, and classic TV seems to be the cure. There’s something comforting about watching characters and storylines I grew up with — they’re like old friends.  Lately, I’ve been rewatching (for the eleventy billionth time) episodes of The Golden Girls. Dorothy, Blanche, Rose, and Sophia are my late night buddies — all that’s missing is the cheesecake.

As much as I love the show, I do have one beef: The Golden Girls (minus Sophia) were supposed to be in their 50s when the show originally ran (Dorothy was said to be 55). Really? I always thought they were in their “golden years,” hence the title of the show. I’m 51, and have not once considered myself living my “golden years” — far from it. Maybe that term is subjective? AARP thinks I’m “golden.” Raise your hand if, like me, you continue to receive the “free luggage” incentive to join?

Don’t get me wrong; I love those lanai ladies. They rocked the limits of social issues, women’s lib, and how much dessert one can devour at 2 a.m. Instead of “golden years,” I like to consider myself in my “glitter years.” I feel more like myself than I ever have, and I’m not so worried about how others view me. I’m sparkly AF.

I guess I’m more like Blanche and the gang than I thought, just with more free luggage and less ’80s pantsuits.

I’ll leave you with this little treat:

Did you know these actors were guests on The Golden Girls? Get ready to have your mind blown like a Miami hurricane.

  • Alex Trebek (I’ll take “Who had the best ’70s/’80s game show host mustache?” for $600)
  • Jeane Dixon (the astrologer and psychic — remember her??)
  • Burt Reynolds (I’ll take “Who had the best ’70s/’80s film franchise mustache” for $800)
  • Sonny Bono (and Blanche said, “Sonny Bono, get off my lanai!”)
  • Julio Iglesias (Sophia’s swoon-worthy Valentine’s Day date)
  • Quentin Tarantino (what the what?)
  • Polly Holiday (whose grits were regularly kissed on Alice)
  • Mario Lopez (tutored by Dorothy before he was Saved by the Bell)
  • George Clooney (following his “Tiger Beat-worthy handyman” stint on The Facts of Life)