The following are snippets of recent conversations between my boyfriend and me:


(Brass Monkey by The Beastie Boys blares from the speaker)

Me: Cosmo LOVES this song.

Chris: It really gets him out on the dance floor.

Me: Awww, look his eyes are closed now. He’s embarrassed.

Chris: I think he’s more of a Run DMC fan, anyway.


Me: I love the new microphone.

Chris: It’s kind of phallic-looking.

Me: I know. I don’t know that I want it so close to my face.


Me: Great. I get to go to the dentist on Friday, the 13th.

Chris: I know, but by the end of the day, you’ll have gotten through the dentist ON Friday the 13th.

Me: I think that means I have some kind of super power, right?

Chris: I think so.


Me: Nigel is such a British name. I don’t think there’s anyone over there NOT named Nigel.

Me: I mean I don’t think there’s anyone named NigelĀ  that’s NOT British.

Chris: I knew what you meant.

Chris: Or Australian or from New Zealand (note: he’s from NZ)

Chris: Another popular name in NZ is Hamish.

Me: Now that’s an unfortunate name.


Me (at 9PM last night): I’m so tired.

Chris: Do you want to finish up your taxes?

Me: NO. My brain can’t even function right now.

Chris: Do you want to set up the new microphone?

Me: YES.