I’ll be 49 years old in March. I’m not telling you this because I want you to start shopping for birthday gifts, but because I’m going to be 50 in no time flat, but I feel younger than that — sometimes, anyway.
I refuse to wear bifocals because I get motion sickness quite easily, and have heard horror stories about people feeling dizzy, tripping and puking, and tripping on their own puke. I worry I’ll be one of those people. Instead, I carry around two pairs of glasses and my eyes juggle them all day long. It’s the worst when I’m in a restaurant and trying to read a menu. Reading glasses on. Then, I have to look for the restroom. Regular glasses on. When I saw my eye doctor a few years ago, she said my quick-change method is fine for now and when it starts to become too much of a hassle, I’ll be back for bifocals. And then I’ll puke all over her.
My fiancé Chris and I recently moved into a new apartment. It’s in downtown Minneapolis and we absolutely love it. So many things we like to do are downtown — the restaurants, the concert venues, the theaters. And our building is connected to the skyway so when it’s -8734924 degrees outside, we won’t have to freeze our eyeballs off. Did you know that your eyeballs really hurt when they get super cold? There aren’t any cute little earmuff-style covers for your eyes! They’re completely nekkid out there in the elements!
But back to my apartment building. I’d guess about 70% of the residents are in their upper 20s to 30s. Seriously — I could have birthed about half of them. There’s a painful thought. When I see all these young professionals breeze in and out of the building in their fashionable couture, I suddenly feel completely dowdy. I thought I had a current sense of fashion, but now I 100-percent question that. I mean, I like my style and don’t feel the need or desire to change it; however, I’m aware it’s not always what the chic folks are wearing in the downtown skyway.
I also notice that most of the younger residents don’t say hi or strike up conversations in the elevators. I’ve always lived around people close to my age, so I’m used to some friendly exchanges, but I rarely get them from the younger crowd. Sometimes they don’t even return my smile. Please know I’m not making some sweeping generalization about Millennials because I know it’s not the case for every one. I happen to have birthed two friendly Millennials (again with the birthing), and I’ve seen them legit exchange pleasantries with other humans and they’re fine, upstanding people. On the other hand, the residents who are around my age or older nearly always say hi in the elevator and offer some observation about the weather or something they see in my shopping bag. Now that I think about it, that’s a little bit creepy. “I see you eat a lot of fiber. Good thing you bought toilet paper!” They don’t really say things like that, but they’re probably thinking them. I’m all for fiber. Go, fiber! I’m not aways in the mood to chat, but I notice these things. No judgement, just personal observations.
I had a bone density scan a couple of weeks ago and the results indicate my skeletal region is afflicted with The Osteopenia. That’s the fancy way of saying my bone mass is less dense than it used to be and I could be headed for Osteoporosis if I don’t make some changes in my life. That’s totally cool and I’m down with supplements and weight-bearing exercises. I have to say, though, as I was crossing an icy street last night, my immediate thought was, “Don’t slip! Watch the hips!”
Here’s the thing, though: I love my life. Chris and I have an active social life, see concerts regularly, and I love to dance. I couldn’t ask for a more fun and supportive partner, family, and friends. I like my style and at least think about what I’m going to put on my body before I do it. I have great skin! If I ever meet you in person, you’ll have to see for yourself. I’m a moisturizing maniac. I have the sense of humor of a 12-year-old boy and I hope that never changes. I’m pretty skilled in the ways of technology and not afraid of learning new things. Sure, I’ll be able to join AARP in a year or so, but Mom tells me their monthly magazine has great articles and valuable discounts.
I don’t know what’s ahead of me, but I’m in a position to receive all of it (that’s what she said).